I've started reading The New Adventures.  For those who don't know what I'm talking about, The New Adventures is a series of pro-Royalist novels published in the Interregnum between Kings Charles I and II.  The best-known writers of this range are probably Samuel Pepys and Thomas Traherne, both of whom went on to greater success after the Restoration.

For those who do know what I'm talking about, well, you know what I'm talking about.  Doctor Who books.

Fandom having suggested that I blog my slog (and it is a slog), here goes.  I'm reading these books largely, but not completely, in order of publication.

The Story So Far:

Alien Bodies:  Krotesque vagina dentata fantasy co-starring Sabalom Glitz.  

The Scarlet Empress: Busy.  Like Smollett on an off day, only without the fart jokes.

The Fall of Yquataine.  Like cheap margarine, i.e. unpalatably full of rape.

The Left Handed Hummingbird
and                                                Literature!  Thank cruk!
Human Nature

Cat's Cradle: Warhead.  Like the title sequence to La Femme Nikita (1990s version).

The Highest Science.  Unbeatable humour.  Unimaginative plotting (see The Plotters)

Thymewyrm: Genesis:  Probably the only New Adventure to be narrated by a child prostitute.

Tymeworme: Exodus:  I have never liked Terrance Dicks' writing.  Like watching Hitler's paint dry.

Walking To Babylon:  Witty riposte to Tymwrom Genesys by the author of Left Handed Hummingbird.

Timewyrmm:  Apocalypse: Drearily written and badly edited.  By the editor of the range.

Tymewrm: Revelation:  Like Human Nature, only with continuity references.

(Why Apocalypse AND Revelation?)

Cat's Cradle: Time's Crucible.  Pull the other one, it's got looms on.  Like watching a ten-episode version of "Journey to the Centre of the Tardis", only one that actually makes sense.

More to follow.  If not, this post to be deleted.

Apologies.  There are several hundred books to go.

Fragmentary New Adventure

Foam coursed down Benny's body

And spiralled down the drain.

As she kissed Corporal Zbrigniev

Umbrellas filled with rain.

Ace groped in the darkness

For her black leather knickers

While an ancient evil entity

Possessed the local vicars.

The myth of the Dark Doctor (above).

The reality of the Dark Doctor (below).

 

1998ish.  As I said, just a fragment.